MEAT PLANTS
Make it stand out
In “Tout va bien” by Jean Luc Godard (1972), Jane Fonda plays an American journalist undercover in a sausage factory plagued by labor unrest.
I’ve been grossed out by meat since I was a child. Once I made the connection between a living being and the texture of death in my mouth, there was no turning back. Milk soon followed when I witnessed first-hand how cow juice was extracted from those udders at the age of six. How the cattle ranch’s cowboy manhandled those poor cows, squeezing the last drop of dignity from their hormone-pumped bodies and yanking on their teats as if they were tubes on an assembly line, will forever be tattooed into my memory. Worse followed when I took a swig from the farmhand’s ladle. I felt the glistening lukewarm membrane atop the bucket sliding down my throat while the scent of barn filth mixed with postpartum despair assaulted my nostrils. The experience was so revolting that the thought of fresh milk invariably makes me gag. I’d rather be circumcised with a cheese grater than imbibe in bovine nectar juice.
When I was little, I didn’t know any vegetarians except my brother, who did everything his big sister did, so I adopted avoidance tactics. It’s unclear whether my parents were sympathetic or had just turned a blind eye to my culinary preferences. Larger gatherings with my paternal family–immigrants from Romania–were meat-heavy. One mainstay dish aptly named five kinds of meat consisted of the intricate serving of all body parts–no leftovers–in creative sausage shapes and with varying means of preparation. I fed most of the meat on my plate to our dog Trixie, a Giant Schnauzer, who returned the favors with fierce and exclusive devotion.
Vegetarians and, more so, vegans are often confronted with vile prejudice and sometimes violence and are widely branded cheerless moralizers, anemic weaklings, or effeminate neurotics, so I hardly mentioned my concerns and resulting preferences into my teenage years. A primitive steak on a bone still signals masculinity, wealth, and power. Athletes’ obsession with protein exacerbates the problem. The lame excuses and petro-masculine mansense haven’t improved much :
Those who eat muscles become muscles.
A little bacon never harmed anyone but the pig.
Where else should I get my protein from?
I’m on keto. Do you want me to die?
When I realized that the world was full of refuseniks of my kind and empowered by knowledge, I eventually proclaimed my vegetarianism. I began to debate the widespread misconceptions whenever I shared meals. Muscle growth relies on genetics, exercise, and overall calorie and protein intake rather than a specific source. Many legumes, tofu, seeds, and nuts are potent protein sources and bypass the poisonous middleman, the digestive system of the animals, which is often filled with hormones, antibiotics, pesticides, and heavy metals. Unfortunately, those toxins are even found in organic meat. Digesting meat with additives wastes athletes’ precious energy, whereas easily digestible plants don’t use as much power to burn food.
Unlike their movie brethren, most gladiators in ancient Rome were hordearii–barley munchers–and some doped with ash cocktails. Strongman sailor Popeye’s secret weapon, spinach, is packed with iron, which is known to be beneficial for generating red blood cells. The nutrient is essential to carry oxygen to the body’s tissues, plus it’s also rich in calcium and vitamin A, which are necessary for overall health and vitality.
Today, more and more top athletes are switching to plant-based diets and are questioning yesterday's notions of consuming other species for their prowess. Ultramarathoner and vegan activist Scott Jurek completed the epic Appalachian Trail (2,100 miles) in 46 days in 2015 without wolfing down a single burger. That’s like running two marathons a day! His colleague Brendan Brazier broke similar world records and, fueled by newfound strength and clarity, published several vegan cookbooks. Venus Williams has been on a plant-based diet since her auto-immune diagnosis. Novak Djokovic switched secretly and only came out of the cupboard as a soy boy after he rose to number 1 in tennis. Even Arnold Schwarzenegger, who once swore by a carnivore diet and consumed almost a whole beef every day, now prefers to nibble on raw carrots and propagates his newfound veganism with his donkey Lulu and miniature horse Whiskey on youtube. The documentary The Game Changers (2019) portrays vegan athletes' nutrition transformation. All report swift muscle recovery, increased strength, and increased endurance.
The latest UN climate report confirms that cattle farming has disastrous effects on climate. It uses vast swaths of land per calorie produced, pollutes waters with manure, speeds up the loss of biodiversity, and, most prominently: the belching and farting animals emit massive amounts of the greenhouse gas methane.
While my heart breaks every time I think of delicious Parmesan, I can’t pretend I do not know the price we pay for our culinary preferences.
March 2022
